Couples in Step Counselling

Resources

    Should We Move In Together?

    I had coffee with a friend recently. She was excited her boyfriend would soon be moving in with her. She wanted my input.

    My friend and her boyfriend enjoy being together. And now circumstances are such that it makes moving in together expedient. Her previous roommate had just moved to another city and my friend needed help paying the rent. Conveniently, her boyfriend’s lease on his apartment was up at the same time. “So we’ll move in together,” my friend said. “And besides, what better way to find out how compatible we are?”

    I told my friend about the research on couples who lived together before marriage. All of this research—and there is lots of it…

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    Links

    There are many links listed here and there throughout the Couples In Step web site. On the links page they are gathered together in helpful categories. You will find links for sites related to marriage and couples counseling, EMDR and trauma related sites, and links for some of my therapist colleagues.

    Visit our Links Page

Just an Ordinary Evening: Maintaining marital friendship

Have you ever wondered what, exactly, makes for a good marriage? John Gottman, a researcher and marital therapist from the University of Washington, has for many years been studying what he calls the “Masters and Disasters” of marriage. He describes three features that good marriages have in common. I’d like to describe …

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Taming the Tiger: Finishing fights well

Think back to the last fight you had with your spouse. Put aside the “what” you were fighting about and zero in on how you felt. Were you “flooded” with intense emotion? Did you feel physically overwhelmed? Were your muscles tense, your palms sweaty? Was your heart pounding, your face hot and flushed? Was it difficult …

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Infidelity: Can counseling help?

I get frequent calls from people wondering if I work with affairs. I do. Infidelity is a common presenting complaint for every couple therapist. Research suggests that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extra marital affair. That’s a lot of affected …

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