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Couples in Step Counselling

Marriage & Couple Counselling Services

Couples in Step therapist Irene Oudyk-Suk has expertise and training in the following:

Individual counseling for depression, anxiety, stress, separation, divorce recovery and trauma is also available at Couples In Step. More information here

Couples In Step counseling benefits you when…

Research suggests that most couples come to marriage counseling seven or more years after first becoming aware of problems. By then marriage partners desperately want a quick fix. However couple’s counselling requires intense work. Improvement takes time. So…

  • attend regular therapy sessions
  • think of the money you spend on therapy as an investment in the future of your relationship (counselling costs much less than divorce!)
  • dedicate time between sessions to practice the skills you learn in therapy (regular practice may mean you will achieve your goals with fewer therapy sessions)
  • commit to learning new habits
  • nurture the desire for a healthy and intimate marriage

Patience will pay off. Loneliness can be transformed into companionship. Even after betrayal, trust can be rekindled. And hostility can evolve into kindness.

Assessment

When you first contact Couples In Step for marriage or couple counseling you will be asked to commit to an assessment and treatment planning process. This involves:

  • a joint session
  • an individual session for each of you
  • completion of a packet of inventories (this will take each of you 1-2 hours to complete)
  • a feedback/goal setting session.

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The first focus of treatment

Usually, the first treatment goal is restoring the marriage or couple friendship in order to decrease the loneliness each of you feels in the relationship. Years of distance and isolation may make trust a challenge.

Where open hostility and anger is a major problem, learning to recognize and manage the intense emotion is a priority treatment issue. You will learn how to calm yourself before your emotions hijack you and ruin any chance of a productive discussion between you and your partner.

If a recent affair is the presenting issue, the first sessions focus almost exclusively on containing the chaos each of you feels. I will help you deal with feelings of betrayal, ambivalence, curiosity and anger about the affair partner, as well as conflicting and fluid emotions. Sometimes the intense feelings require scheduling a number of sessions close to each other in time. More information about how Couples In Step works with affairs is here.

Many couples are tempted to stop treatment as soon as things get a bit better. This is not wise because at this point the work of weaving a long lasting relationship begins.

As you learn to manage the overwhelming emotions that are part of recognizing your marriage is in trouble, you will begin to have success negotiating your way through situations that used to end in anger or isolation.

Video recording

Couples In Step therapist Irene Oudyk-Suk regularly video tapes couple sessions — always with your permission of course. While not every video taped session is reviewed, it is likely that during your involvement with Couples In Step at least a few will. Videotaping improves Irene Oudyk-Suk’s overall work as a specialty couple’s therapist. And occasionally you get Irene’s focused attention on your relationship without having to pay for it! While the first few minutes of videotaping feels awkward and artificial, most couples quickly become accustomed to the videotaping and appreciate the extra feedback that is a result.

Couple and individual sessions

Most treatment will take place in couple sessions. Occasional individual sessions may also be helpful. Couple sessions compel partners to overcome the temptation of trying to resolve issues by talking solely with the therapist instead of their partner.

Homework

You will receive regular take-home assignments that reinforce skills you learn during therapy sessions. Couples who do therapy homework spend less time in counselling.

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Session length

75 minute couple sessions are recommended at Couples In Step. While 50 minute couple sessions are possible, they are a less efficient use of time. 75 minute sessions are long enough to air issues, teach couples skills and strategies, and practice them. It is difficult to squeeze all three components into a shorter session. Individual sessions are 50 minutes.

Frequency

At first sessions are weekly. After two to four months bi-weekly sessions are possible. Whatever the frequency of sessions, couples should reserve ninety minutes a week for relationship work. Your therapist will have plenty of suggestions for structuring this time. After two to four months of bi-weekly sessions marriage counseling may move to every three weeks or less.

Duration of treatment

Length of marriage and couples counseling depends on several factors, including how long you waited to start counseling after recognizing there was a problem, the depth of hurt each partner has suffered in the marriage, how willing you are to be vulnerable, and so on. Couples seeking to resurrect their marriage from the aftermath of an affair will need extra time in therapy. Most couples experience a great deal of improvement in their relationship after 10 to 20 sessions.

Relapse prevention

No marriage or couples counselor can guarantee that a successful course of marriage therapy will mean you and your partner will never again run into relationship problems. However, good couples and marriage counseling does focus, from the beginning, on helping the two of you develop interaction patterns that helps you talk about concerns. At the conclusion of couple’s counselling you will spend some time developing rituals for fun and relaxation, and for stress management. Having a “toolbox” of activities and patterns that will help your relationship flourish even after therapy concludes is reassuring.

Ending marriage counseling

You are ready to end marriage counseling when you and your partner

  • are able to successfully process a fight
  • discuss difficult topics
  • regularly share life dreams and stresses with each other
  • feel secure in your marital friendship
  • recognize and act on the early signs of increasing distance from each other.

You will benefit from a tune-up session every 4 to 6 months for a year or so after regular marriage and couples counselling ends.

Now…

For more information or to schedule an appointment call Couples In Step at 289-251-8381, or email Couples In Step.

Now that you know the various components that go into the marriage and couples counselling process at Couples In Step read some Couples In Step success stories. You may also wish have further information on

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